What if??

I have so many questions to which there are no answers... I get so sad sometimes and I wonder if I will ever get over this kind of moods??

Most of the days I'm ok, living my "new" life, dreaming of better tomorrow. But what if I will never get rid of the sadness of the past? Will I always be bitter in some aspects of my life? Will it always hunt me, whenever I hear the name, or see the face, or imagine what is it like at the other persons life?? I am sooo tired of regrets and pain... So many tears i shed and... I feel like the healing will be so hard, because of the damages in my heart that were created last year... What if my dream of better days, of happiness and the companion are not in store for me? What if I will have to, yet again, face the problems of the past and have to deal with them, and live with them, each day...

The face once so dear is so painful to look at and...

I just want to be Fully happy in JESUS again. I need to feel His love and blessing, but not in a way of physical and material provision. I need to feel love and understanding of the beloved Father, Savior, Brother... Jesus.... where and when can I find it again???

You are with me but yet I can't feel You...

I;m broken...